Forget about Jason, Freddie or the bogeyman, Thailand has its own set of monsters to come and get you
ILLUSTRATION: Mad MENN
o Halloween is simply a perfect occasion for the fun-loving people of Thailand to get together and, er, party the night away. We won't get into all the glorious details of how we have gotten down during this supposedly spooky day, but we can attest that Thais, without any bearing of the history and traditions of Halloween, dress up to the max and will not let up until the sun rises to melt the brethren back to the ground.
To celebrate the advent 'Muse' style, we would like to drag the spotlight away from foreign ghosts and shine an extra-bright light onto our home-grown ghosts and folklore monsters.
Of course, this being 'Muse', the other-worldly kinds will all have a feminine touch and not so good hygiene in some cases.
Surely, there are anthropological, cultural, gender and sociological explanations for these legendary female ethereal beings. The manifestations of the Thai female spooky kinds differ from their male counterparts. Some might say that such notions and passed-on tales even portray the subtle male-dominated views toward the mystique of femaleness or a gentle criticism of the perceived ''female evilness'' (overt sexuality, vaginal empowerment, craftiness, possessiveness and more) that should be frowned upon. Our female ghosts can be roughly divided into two types _ the butt ugly and laughable creeps, and the beautiful and seductive femme fatales. This crude categorisation uncannily reflects the real world, doesn't it?
And as in the real world, we shall present the pretty ones before moving on to the others. Without further ado, meet:
Nang Takian
Ms Takian inhabits _ you guessed it _ a Takian tree. Nang Takian is believed to be the guardian fairy of this long-living hardwood tree commonly used to build boats and agricultural tools because of its longevity and strength. The areas where Takian trees grow are often viewed as being cleaner than other parts of the forest since each Nang Takian voluntarily cleans her own front porch, reflecting the good domestic girl within every female of the species. She's said to be uniquely beautiful, always dressed in traditional gear of yesteryear, and have a beguiling nature but she can turn ferocious and combative like GI Jane if she feels her turf is in danger. She is extremely attached to her home (the tree, what else), and is not willing to relocate, which makes it harder for her to get a job outside her peripheral.
Nang Takians' homes are pretty much in demand for boat-making since, thanks to the attractive and powerful tenant, the wood is thought to contain some sort of ghost power that offers protection and sacred blessings. There must be some serious offering and spiritual redemption to be made before Takian trees are cut down. Only the worthy will be granted permission. But the best bit is that Nang Takian, displaying extreme loyalty to her home provider, will follow the wood from her tree even if it has been turned into a boat or whatnot, where she will take on different names. The most common practice is for Nang Takian to become Mae Ya Nang (The Protective Mother) of a boat that is made out of her home.
Nang Tanee
For a more obsessive type, Ms Tanee might be a perfect match. Nang Tanee's usual haunt is none other than Tanee banana trees (a jungle banana tree). But not just any good old Tanee banana tree; it must have died right after the first blossom. Our Nang Tanee is quite picky about where she wants to hang out. You won't really find any Thais who grew up watching their grandparents grow Tanee banana trees within the comfort of their picket fences. If truth be told, Tanee bananas really don't taste that good, and, let's admit it, they're not great to look at, compared to cherry blossoms or smuggled orchids.
But the special girl who lives there is so pretty that no man that comes within her reach can escape the power of her enticing grip. She always wears green even though the consensus at Elle Fashion Week recently dictated otherwise for this season.
But this is where it gets interesting for Nang Tanee. She will bed you after some serious seduction _ it's over your head to say no. After that is where it gets tricky (doesn't it always?). She quickly becomes the green-eyed monster, getting so jealous that she will snap your neck off if she finds out that you do the nasty with other girls after being intimate with her _ even just once. And you can make sure she'll always find out. This kind of possessiveness makes Fatal Attraction look like another attraction in Disneyland.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
The Stillbirths
No, it's not an indie band name. The Stillbirths are the spirits of those mothers who passed while giving birth. They will stay at home, and appear late at night singing lullabies to calm the crying baby.
Mae Nak
But the most famous has to be Ms Nak. Mae Nak is the prototype of all The Stillbirths _ the real McCoy. Her story has been told over and over in movies, TV series, comics, school plays and books, and a musical, in which Nat Myria portrayed her, has recently been added to her list of accomplishments.
Mae Nak's story has been added on to the point that no one knows what the original was. But the general belief reveals that she did exist. Supposedly, she was alive during the reign of King Rama IV, and her shrine exists at Wat Mahaburt in Sukhumvit Soi 77. The everlasting story begins simply enough with Nak being happily married to her husband Mak. They were eagerly expecting a child when Mak was forced to leave home to take care of some business. While he was away, Nak is believed to have died during a painful yet unsuccessful childbirth. She was adamant about becoming a ghost, which inevitably turned her dead child into one too, waiting for her man to return. On returning home, he could not understanding why the body next to him was icy cold. Weird behaviour (extended arms and neck, pale skin, creepy speech patterns) finally alerted Mak to realise the die-hard truth, and of course, being a man, he bolted at the first sign of trouble. She got angry and terrorised the whole village. Her end is attributed to the revered, mystical, powerful monk Somdej Toe who was very much real, which is why many people believe that Mae Nak was also very real since her story involves an actual historical figure and true locales.
Some people view the story of Mae Nak as a romantic love story that thrives on dedication and commitment. But it's the kind of love that won't buckle until a piece of skull must be turned into a belt buckle (beat that, Marc Jacobs). It's the kind of love that refuses to let go and takes a nasty turn with a tragic end. But be that as it may, she went to great lengths to be with her man. Respect.
Pop
There's nothing poppy about Pop. Ms Pop is portrayed as an old, mangy lady with crazy hair and disgusting hygiene to boost (sound familiar?). Pop is not exactly a ghost but she's somewhere between a human and a monster. She roams the neighbourhood doing weird things and scaring people with her strange ways. Ms Pop likes to eat raw, dirty things, and she can eat a lot without any fear of having to consult Fat Fighters. It's said that her stomach is a bottomless pit like this country's corruption cycle since it knows no end. She's always hungry and wants more, giving birth to the ''eat like a pop'' proverb.
Don't expect any intrigue or sexiness from this one. It's believed that a woman can become Pop if she mingles into dark arts and dangerous magic too much. These dark forces when met with vicious intent are never good news, so when a woman becomes too consumed with her own power and forgoes all her virtues and belief in good karma, she turns into something unimaginable because she can no longer see the line between good and evil. It's very much a Lord of the Rings kind of moral: Don't abuse your power, or else it will destroy you, and make you eat uncooked food.
As unsightly as Ms Pop is, she has managed to establish a long franchise of horror comedy flicks called House of Pop. The plot is usually the same. It revolves around crazy villagers and features a comically scary Pop who inevitably wrecks havoc. Villagers run around and hide in water jars, where Pop always finds them, and they jump out of the jars, eventually seeking solace in a shaman. At the last count, there were 12 movies in the franchise, not including the many spin-offs.
Krasue
Taking craziness to another level is Ms Krasue. She is sometimes pitched against and confused with Pop since both breeds are old women and both seek raw, stinky food to keep themselves satisfied. But Krasue is a more refined, experienced foodie since she also enjoys a buffet of human and animal droppings with tax and service charge. We really don't want to spoil your Halloween appetite by continuing on about this point.
Krasue is really something else because when she goes on her feeding frenzy at night, she leaves her body at home. Yes, she hunts as a floating head, and _ wait for it _ all her inner organs remain attached to her head by some sort of sinewy, stringy muscles. The most recent sighting was in July last year. News reports claimed that a bunch of villagers said they saw Krasue in operation. That particular incarnation looked very much like an old lady in the village, and when she died, the Krasue was nowhere to be found.
When Ms Krasue travels fast enough, you see only a flash of green light. New mothers really need to be on guard because, apparently, birth blood draws Krasue out to go berserk on new mothers and babies. Krasue eats their inner organs ever so quickly; before they even have time to cut the chord. Forget about fighting off male chauvinism and breaking the glass ceiling when your female peer is always ready to rip you apart, say, when you go on maternity leave or take a brief lunch break?
Krasue is also very stubborn. She will not just leave the world. She needs an heir before she can bid farewell to the neighbourhood toilets. And how does she do it? She spits her saliva into the next girl in line. Classy.
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