Saying 'Thank you' alone might not be enough
In addition, it is quite typical to reply returning the compliment by suggesting that it was kind of the person to notice or to take the time to say something nice - "Thank you, it's kind of you to notice." While this is often sufficient, other additional comments can add more modesty.
Sharing and caring
A typical response to a compliment is to mention help provided by others to make the deed successful. Typical of the speeches at the Academy Awards presentations and similar events, a compliment, or award, is shared with the people who have helped. So, "You did a great job with the report" would be responded to with a "thank you" followed by a comment. If it was a group effort, a typical, modest reply is to acknowledge the help of others, "Thank you, I had some great help from ... ."
In business writing courses, students often ask if they should use "I" or "we" when writing a company letter. One solution, based on the idea of sharing a compliment, is to use "we" when sharing good news and "I" when sharing bad news or dealing with problems.
"We" is often used to share the rewards which, in turn, reflects teamwork; whereas "I" - used when dealing with bad news or complaints - can offer security of mind to a client in knowing that a name can be attached to the search for a further solution, and within a company, it is often seen as being willing to take responsibility.
While sharing a compliment is perhaps the easiest reply, when teamwork was not involved, other replies are needed. One option is to give credit to someone who has provided the training, such as "Thank you, I had a great teacher", or given the motivation to do something better, as in "Thank you, I wanted it to be like this ... ."
Hard work
When a compliment relates to an accomplishment, for example, being able to speak a second language or play a musical instrument, which has clearly taken a great deal of effort, it is appropriate to accept the compliment and comment on how much work it required. In this case, a suitable response to "I really like the way you can play the piano" could be "Thank you, that's very kind of you, it's taken me years of practice."
Gifts or luck
When receiving a compliment about a personal possession, a frequent reply is to mention that it was, in fact, a gift - "Nice necktie", "Thanks, my wife gave it to me for my birthday."
Another way to reply is to comment on the luck involved in having the admired item or skill - "Nice apartment", "Thanks, I was lucky to find it." Another example could be about something physical. To "You have a beautiful voice", the reply could be "Thank you, I got it from my mother. She's a really good singer, too."
Somewhat similar to luck, uncertainty as to why someone is being complimented can be added to a response and it seems most appropriate when a second person is included in the compliment. "Your wife is very attractive", "Thanks, but I still don't know why she married me."
Shy
Finally, sometimes it is fitting to accept a compliment without any comment, but by acting shy and uncomfortable instead. Perhaps the most difficult approach to use, it is effective when you have worked hard to accomplish something and feel that any of the other responses might reduce the value of the compliment and the person offering it.
If students are encouraged to give and reply to compliments, not only is it a useful practice, it can also provide insight into what students value most and should, if the compliments are genuine, help to build friendships between class members and the teacher.
Dr Timothy Cornwall has been teaching EFL for 30 years and is part of the Shinawatra University faculty. Co-founder of Thailand Educators Network, he can be reached at thaiednet.org , through his website speechwork.co.th , at tim@speechwork.co.th or on 081-834-8982.
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