Translation Funnies VI

Other languages:
Czechoslovakia: in a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Denmark: in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

German/Austria: a sign in a hotel catering to skiers read "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension".

German/Austria: on a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

British/England: in an effort to boost orange juice sales in predominantly continental breakfast eating England, a campaign was devised to extol the drink's eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities. Hence, slogan, "Orange juice. It gets your pecker up".

German/Germany: in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

German/Germany: a sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

Greek/Greece: in a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

Polish/Poland: on the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Portuguese/Brazil: Ford had a problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.

Romania: in a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Russian/Russia: on the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Russian/Russia: in the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Russian/Russia: a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

Serbia: in a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

Switzerland: in a Swiss menu: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for".

Switzerland: in a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

Taiwan: the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead".

Thailand: an ad for donkey rides asked "Would you like to ride on your own ass?".

Thailand: in a Bangkok dry-cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Thailand: in a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.".

Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia, you will find this message on every door: "Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more.".

Unknown (South Africa? France? Australia?): in a Rhodes tailor's shop: Order your summers suit. Because in big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.